That's just crazy talk!

I just sent out our very last rent payment at our duplex! Now that’s a good feeling! I can’t stinkin’ wait to be out of there. I’m counting down the days! T – 27 days and counting! :-)

We just found out recently that my (step) Grandma, Barb, has pancreatic cancer and is having Whipple Surgery next week. I'm praying for things to go smoothly, for her to have a fast recovery and have many more years ahead of her!

Isn't she cute! Love you Barb!

I definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I’m crabby, I’m cold, I don’t like what I’m wearing, everything is annoying, I don’t want to do anything and I just want to go home and go to bed. Great attitude for the rest of the day.

So we have been getting nothing but bad news lately and life just keeps getting harder and more stressful. But finally we got some good news! It is not actually the really good news we had hoped for but it’s still good. I got an email from the realtor for the seller for our house we are trying to buy and she said that she had spoken with the attorney for the 1st mortgage. The attorney for the 1st mortgage said that she thinks this is going to take several months longer. So that is the bad news. The good news is that Brian, the seller, said he would like to rent the house to us so we aren’t homeless when our lease is up. I know, I know, we are taking a big risk by doing this because there is no 100% guarantee that we will be able to buy the house. But we have thought it through and want to rent until they can settle the claims. After a nice long chat with the seller’s realtor she basically said it is ours but they have to settle these claims before we can close. She said the bank was ready to accept our offer but then these mortgage and title issues came about. So anyways, basically we are going to rent the house until the claims are satisfied and then we can close. Yippy! The seller is going to give us the 1st month rent free since we have to purchase a refrigerator and I think Phil is going to ask his mom if we can borrow her lawn mower to mow the lawn until we can close. We aren’t sure what we will do about the washer and dryer yet though. Not sure if it is smart to buy them since there is a small chance we will lose the house in the end. We could probably go to a laundry mat for a little while or give some money to Phil’s mom and do our laundry there. Hmmm… Anyways, I’m quite happy with this decision and I’m super excited to move in towards the end of July! The only thing that will stop us from moving at the end of July is if the inspection comes up with something bad. We decided it would be smart to have the inspection before we move in since we would get it anyways before we close. Yay! I’m super excited! Anyone want to help us move? ;-)

I am a planner, we all know this. And when I get something in my head, I have to do it right now. I can’t do it a week later or even a day later. I have to do it right away. As of July 31st Phil and I don’t know where we are going to be living. Will we be in our new house? Will we be at Rita’s? Will we be in a different house or apartment? Who freakin knows?! I sure don’t. And if we do get our wish and get this house will we even have time to get everything we need before our lease is up? I’m guessing that if we get this house, they are going to close last minute and we won’t have a washer, dryer, lawn mower and fridge when we move in. But that is the last of my worries right now. First we need to get the house. That’s the most important thing.

So I’ve got all these “what ifs” and plans upon plans floating in my head. It is getting bad. All weekend I couldn’t sit down and relax until I was completely exhausted because I had to be doing something... something to help ease the anxiety. So I power cleaned the carpets and the couches with the steam cleaner and did some more unusual cleaning. This week I’m going to paint my two tables and lamps that will look so cute in the house. That might keep me busy enough for a few days.

I can’t fall asleep at night because my brain won’t shut off. One minute I’m excited about all the decorating I want to do, the next minute I’m terrified because I think this is all going to fall through and we will no longer have a home – just a place to crash. And if we don’t get the house then for how long will we be at Rita’s? And what will we do with all our stuff? We would definitely need to put the majority of our stuff in storage but where? The last few nights I have been completely exhausted but I can’t fall asleep! Then I wake up in the middle of the night and my brain decides to start its planning mode again and I can’t get back to sleep. So today I’m stressed and tired and have high anxiety. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m more like my mother than I thought. Not good. The anxiety is really starting to get bad. Anybody know any remedies to help anxiety go away? What seems to help is doing what I can now for our house (like painting my tables, cleaning the weird things in our apartment for when we leave, shopping for little things for the house, etc.) I can’t imagine how much worse this is going to be next month at this time if we still haven’t heard back from the bank. Agh!!!

Friday after work Jewells and I went shopping in Woodbury where I proceeded to spend a little too much money. Then we met Lynsie at Applebee’s and had some dinner before going to see Sex and the City 2! I was super excited to see this movie. I thought that it was good but not amazingly good. I thought it was kinda weird that most of the movie was based in Abu Dhabi, not NYC.

Saturday I spent the majority of the day cleaning. All I have to say is my dogs piss me off. Don’t get me wrong, I love them, but if I didn’t, I would send them packing! If I didn’t have dogs I wouldn’t have to mop all the dang time and wash the blankets as much. My soon to be golden retriever sure won’t pee in the house! He will be potty trained ASAP! Speaking of golden retrievers… I had a chance to purchase one now but Phil said no. :’( I understand that it would be stressful to get one now since we will be moving in 1-2 months and we are not sure where we will be at. BUT I want him now! I have been waiting to get him since I moved away from home 5 years ago! *sigh* Hopefully I will get him in a few months.

Sunday Phil and I went to Ikea and the MOA. It was nice to spend time with Phil and get out of the house. We took our time walking around the mall and went out to eat. By the time we got home I was exhausted.

Monday. Phil – if you are reading this I’m sorry. I was quite crabby. I should have been in a good mood since I didn’t have to go to work but no… I was crabby, all day.

Any who, that was my weekend. I have a few things to look forward to this week. Tomorrow night we are going out for dinner to celebrate Rachel’s 24th birthday! Then Thursday I’m going out to dinner with my Aunt Laura to catch up. This weekend is Good Neighbor Days so we will probably head down to Roberts on Friday or Saturday night. We should also find out more about our house this week. I talked to the realtor for the seller today and she said that the seller wants to rent the house out to us until we can get the bank to finalize everything and close. I’m not sure on the details yet but that is good news. Phil and I are willing to rent as long as we know 100% that we are getting the house in the long run. We don’t want to start renting it and then lose it in the long run. There is work that needs to start when we move in and I don’t want to waste my time and money. So hopefully by the end of the week we will know more. Until next time…